Going out should be fun, but for women, it often comes with the added stress of dealing with unwanted attention, creepy comments, and even unsafe situations. It’s exhausting that we have to be the ones taking precautions instead of men just behaving like decent human beings. But here we are, so let’s talk about how to shut them down—fast.
And no, this has nothing to do with what we wear. What we wear is not an invitation. We can dress however we want, and men should be able to control themselves. We are mothers, wives, girlfriends, aunts, sisters—human beings worthy of respect. A low-cut top is not a free pass for harassment.
Here are some tried-and-true ways to handle unwanted attention at bars:
1. Activate Bitch Mode
I am a kind, sweet and loving person —until I step into a bar. That’s when I go full bitch mode (which, by the way, just means having boundaries and refusing to entertain nonsense).
I don’t smile at your gross,bad jokes. I don’t engage in your ego trip. And I definitely don’t owe you a conversation just because I exist in the same space as you.
Activating bitch mode also requires witty comebacks to men with big egos often compensation for smallness in other areas
Scenario 1: A man near me was rating women as they walked in: “She’s a 10, she’s a 2,” etc. This overweight, bald man needed a reality check, to which I retorted, “I would stop commenting if I were you, because you’re not so hot yourself.”
2. Tell Them You Have a Boyfriend (If You Must)
It’s ridiculous that this even works, but sometimes it does. If the male you are speaking to has bad intentions he will usually back off at this point. So, if you need a quick escape, drop in a fake (or real) boyfriend mention.
Will it always work? No. Some men truly don’t care. But often, the fear of a random dude showing up to defend you will make them back off.
3. Walk Away. Ignore. Do Not Engage.
Some men take any interaction as encouragement. The best way to kill their momentum is to not give them any.
No eye contact. No polite smiles. No fake laughs.
I once bent down to grab something from my bag at a bar, and some guy thought it was so hilarious to say, “While you’re down there…” as if that’s ever been an original joke. Did I engage? No. I got up, walked to the other side of the bar, and refused to acknowledge his existence.
No reaction = no satisfaction for them.
4. Act Weird
If they really won’t leave you alone, it’s time to get creative. Some ideas:
- Stare at them without blinking and whisper, “The voices told me you’d come.”
- Start reciting a fake spell in Latin.
Here’s a fun, easy fake Latin spell you can use to weird out creeps at the bar:
“Obscuro mentem tuam! Infernus barfly evaporus!”
(Translation: “I cloud your mind! Annoying barfly, disappear!”)
For extra effect: Wave your hands dramatically, widen your eyes, and whisper ominously. Bonus points if you get a friend to gasp and say, “Oh no… she’s doing it again.”
- Spill their drink on them and pretend it was an accident (because your drink is valuable—you’ll need it).
- Start screaming random words like “WATERMELON!” mid-conversation.
Make yourself more trouble than you’re worth.
5. Hold Bars Accountable
Honestly, bar and restaurant owners need to step up. Too many times, they see harassment happening and do nothing. If a place refuses to keep women safe, then they’re just as bad as the men doing the harassing.
Start calling these places out. Complain to management. Leave bad reviews. Demand better. We shouldn’t have to strategise ways to exist in public spaces without being harassed but here we are!
Next time you’re out with your girlfriends and encounter that guy, try one (or all) of these. And remember, it is not your job to make anyone feel comfortable at the expense of your own peace.
Stay safe, stay fierce, and take no nonsense. Cheers!
Absolutely brilliant ten out of 10!!