I recently traded airports for a long-distance bus trip across the South African countryside and headed to Johannesburg for the Google Summit. Long-distance bus travel is an adventure. Sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s exhausting, and sometimes it leaves you questioning your sanity. Inter City has these new buses with charging ports for your devices and plenty of space, so all in all it was a comfortable ride with a few interesting features…Although I rode back on an Eagle Liner bus with a broken toilet and too many extra stops and thus an extra-long journey home.

After spending far too many hours travelling, I’ve put together a few tips that might just help you survive the journey.

Bus Travel Tips

1. Prepare for the seats

Be prepared for chairs in Eagle liner buses that seem to have been designed to fit only half your butt. One butt cheek gets the seat while the other spends eight hours in mid air or on someone else’s lap

2. Choose your seat wisely

If you sit near the toilets, be prepared for some… let’s say… interesting odours permeating the surrounding area. Fresh air becomes a distant memory.

3. Don’t be fooled by boarding

Just when you think everyone is finally on the bus, another surge of people appears from nowhere. There are only about 60 seats, yet somehow another hundred people  and their kids are convinced they’re getting on. I still don’t understand how that works.

4. Expect unexpected aromas

Somewhere during the trip you’ll probably encounter the unmistakable combination of pickled fish and boiled eggs. Together. It’s certainly… memorable.

5. Bring headphones

Actually, bring noise-cancelling headphones if you own them.

Because apparently nobody else believes in headphones. Instead, everyone shares their music, voice notes, phone conversations, TikToks, latest soccer scores, and videos at full volume as though the entire bus requested the entertainment.

My tip here for the bus companies: have signs to tell passengers to use headphones? Just a thought. Failing that, maybe actually hire live entertainment, a musician or a comedian? Could be a fun ride?

6. Dress for comfort, not a fashion show

Somewhere between Durban and Johannesburg, I stopped caring what I looked like.

For the trip home I embraced full comfort mode: leopard-print pyjama pants, a vest, a hoodie and my newly acquired Google Cloud socks. Zero regrets.

Long-distance buses are unpredictable. One minute you’re melting in the afternoon sun, the next you’re reaching for every layer you packed because the air-conditioning has gone into overdrive. Or maybe it’s just the menopause. Honestly, at this point I can’t tell anymore.

7. Pack snacks. Trust me.

Bus food stops are a lucky dip, so I prefer to bring my own survival kit.

For me, that included a Debonairs Margherita pizza, mini Cheddar crackers and my Google Cloud flask.

Whether there may or may not have been wine in that flask… well… that’s between me and the flask.

Let’s just call it a sophisticated cheese-and-wine picnic for one and leave it there.

Park Station …my suggestions

Park Station Joburg is an experience all on its own. Here are a few things I’d love to see improved.

1. Can we please sort out the metered taxi and Uber situation?

Can the authorities please put an end to the ongoing metered taxi/Uber wars?

Passengers (yes, this was me) are often intimidated by metered taxi drivers who insist you get into their vehicles. Meanwhile, Uber drivers aren’t allowed close to the station, meaning a single female traveller with luggage may have to walk two blocks in the dark just to reach her ride.

Dont worry, I have a solution failing police intervention. When the metered taxi guy intimidated me and followed me around, I put Facebook Live on and told him and then he suddenly didn’t want me in his taxi anymore…. Then the police did help me but lifting me 2 blocks down to get the uber. My uber driver told me the metered taxi guys make them pay R500 if they caught at the station.

That’s not just inconvenient; it’s a safety issue.

2. Toilet paper shouldn’t be optional

Apparently it’s just accepted that public toilets can run out of toilet paper and everyone is expected to know to bring their own.

Maybe Park Station should put up a sign.

“ BYO toilet paper. We’re saving trees.” 

3. Better signage

Can we please have clearer signs? At the moment, finding your bus feels like an escape room with luggage. I watched three people miss their buses because they couldn’t figure out where to go. It’s stressful enough travelling without having to solve a mystery before departure. A few larger, clearer signs would make a world of difference.

4. Credit where it’s due

It’s not all bad.

There are actually a number of decent shops and takeaway restaurants inside Park Station. If you need to charge your phone or laptop while waiting, Wimpy is a good option, and the ice cream shop on the corner also has charging points.

Security was generally quite helpful . I asked where to go, and while one guy sent me in the wrong direction completely , another lady was very helpful.

Small wins… but very welcome ones when you’re waiting for your bus.

But here’s the best part…

For all my jokes, one thing really stood out, the people.

On the trip up, I happened to sit near a group of guys from Invictus Security. They had everyone around them laughing for most of the journey, and before long I felt like I’d somehow acquired my own personal security detail.

That turned out to be a very good thing.

At one of the pit stops I confidently climbed onto what I thought was my bus… only to discover it wasn’t. Thankfully, my unofficial security team noticed I was about to disappear into the sunset on the wrong coach and came to my rescue before it left without me.

So yes, the bus has its quirks, but it’s also full of genuinely good people. Sometimes a long journey reminds you that South Africans still look out for each other, even if they’ve only known you for a few hours.

(And yes… we had to take a photo together before we went our separate ways.)

Would I do it again?

Absolutely.

You meet interesting people, collect stories you’ll laugh about later, and gain a whole new appreciation for arriving.

Just remember your headphones, your snacks, a hoodie, a charger, your own toilet paper… and if you’re travelling through Park Station alone, maybe keep Facebook Live within easy reach.

Safe travels…and may both cheeks fit on your seat. 😉